I don’t know about you but sometimes life just down right sucks. And for a long time I would not have admitted that, at least not out loud. Perhaps it’s my pride, or my absolute contempt for pity but I very rarely, if ever admit that I am not okay.
Anyone find themselves there?
Sometimes things happen that knock the wind out of our proverbial sails. My natural tendency is to try to piece things back together, to keep moving, to stay standing and never admit that I am tired, frustrated, hurt…defeated.
Now before all of you go throwing some sort of overly spiritual tantrum, me saying that life sucks is in no way me saying that God isn’t good. Yes, God IS good and He DOES good but not everything that we walk through is.
In recent months I’ve come to realize that- it is okay to not be okay.
My eternity is not at stake when I admit my weakness. That in the very moments when I am on the edge of surrender, about to give in to whatever chaos is currently blowing through, there are and have been people to stand with me and in most cases stand FOR me. That relief only comes in when I invite it. Sometimes that invitation comes in the form of tears that I cannot hold back, or days worth of unanswered texts…but that’s the beauty of doing life in community. They know me, well enough in fact to know how “not okay” I am, often before I have the courage to voice it.
Just because I’m not okay right now doesn’t mean I won’t be.
Here’s a spoiler alert…It will be okay, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day it will be okay. You will be okay. I will be okay.
And it’s okay when you’re not cause those are the very moments we get to surround you and remind you that it will be.